Playwright Caroline Bird on writing The Last Stand Of Mrs Mary Whitehouse

Why choose to write about Mary Whitehouse?

I didn't. I was approached by Adam Penford, the Playhouse's artistic director. He had an idea for a Mary Whitehouse play, and contacted director Sarah Frankcom and Maxine Peake. I’d finished writing Red Ellen, about Labour MP Ellen Wilkinson, who obviously couldn’t be further away on the political spectrum. But they thought of me and said, why don't you go away, do some research and see if this topic interests you? I was born in 1986 so my knowledge of Mary Whitehouse was quite cartoonish. I knew that clip where she'd stood up and said this is the filthiest thing I've ever seen. But I didn't know much else, so I bought her books on eBay. After a few hours of reading, my perception totally flipped. I realized this woman was no joke. She was talking about the AIDS crisis as a vindication and thanking God that it shattered the complacency of permissive society.

I’d thought her homophobia similar to my grandma's homophobia, who called all my partners ‘roommates’ and didn't really understand. But Whitehouse was something else entirely. She wrote about the social contagion of homosexuality and how it indoctrinates people. She talked about homosexuality being a communist conspiracy to bring down the West from within. And she was a deep believer in spiritual conversion for homosexuals.

So ironically, quite shocking. I was also really interested in the Gay News trial. As a poet, the idea of finding yourself in the Old Bailey for publishing a poem is fascinating.

Then I went to the Bodleian and read her diaries from the 70s and 80s, all written in this tiny hieroglyphic handwriting, because in order to write a character, even someone you politically disagree with, you have to know who they are. That's quite controversial now, empathizing with a political opponent. So, it was a process of finding compassion for her, and understanding why her beliefs were essentially so hard line evangelical. She originally joined the Oxford Group, which then became the Moral Rearmament Movement. She believed her mission was to fight sin in all its forms and every corrupting, secular influence in society. Homosexuality, pop music, horror films, the left-wing press, the BBC, abortion, but also contraception, feminism, and some things that we’d agree with, like paedophilia. There were many where she was immensely sensible, (she fought against pornography, understanding before most it operates like a drug on the mind).

However, looking at the ideology underpinning it, I realized you can't cherry pick her views. Look at her solutions as well as her fears. This idea that Mary Whitehouse just wanted necessary protection is a myth. She wanted sex education to consist of chastity before marriage and fidelity within. Her solution to societal ills was religious and sexual shame. Well, we've tried that before, and it didn't keep us safe, least of all women and children. 

But her brand of homophobia was interesting, she believed she was helping and curing. I realized she genuinely didn’t feel there was a hateful bone in her body. She always felt, even when she was harming people, that she was helping.  

What would you say was her most (in my words) regressive achievement?

She embedded in the public consciousness this idea of homosexuality being an indoctrination. A lot of her thinking underpinned Section 28 even though she wasn't involved in the legislation process. And the Gay News trial is very interesting, because it looked like a comical event about this shocking poem with a Centurion fantasizing about having sex with the dead body of Jesus. Anyone would go, ‘well, that does sound blasphemous’. But you have to look at the wider context and realize that this was 10 years after decriminalization, when Gay News was the only national source of information for homosexuals. It was available on newsstands, and Mary Whitehouse had her eye on it ever since they'd won the obscenity trial in 1974. In terms of proving her point, it couldn't be more perfect, as a public demonstration that homosexuality was literally anti-Christ. People were protesting against her outside the courtroom, while other people were shouting about Sodom and Gomorrah. From then, it’s just a few years until the AIDS crisis hits. Gay News had gone under, just as it was needed most. If it wasn't for Mary Whitehouse, there could have been information about AIDS on every newsstand in Britain.

I’d say we are still feeling the effects of artistic censorship now. We do find ourselves in quite an astonishingly similar place to everything that Mary Whitehouse brought up. Freedom of speech, freedom of protest, sex identity, minorities. Everything to do with culture wars that Mary Whitehouse debated, is happening again.

Now, it's important to remember Mary Whitehouse never thought she was fighting a culture war. She believed she was fighting a spiritual war. Good against evil and light against darkness. And that's having a resurgence too, especially in America. So, it was one of those subject matters where it feels like a period piece, and yet is happening all around us today.

How do you go from that blank page to opening night? 

Yeah, there's research, and that's about trying as many different rabbit holes as possible, reading the most obscure things. Anyone she mentioned in her diary; I'd find books on. Read books on blasphemy. Even read some gardening books. You just put everything you can into the soup. Then, it's going, ‘okay, what am I most obsessed by?' What images keep coming into my imagination? What scenes has she described that I'd like to colour in, or what moments has she not talked about that I could explore? Part of writing a play is figuring out things about the character that nobody else knows. Things they don't know themselves. It's the only way of making them come to life.

For example, one thing she never mentions in her autobiographies is her parents separating. Well, it's interesting that she doesn't mention that, because it's big, and that means it's profound.

Then you write, opening that emotional door a little. So, how do I push further and then it slowly grows. Still, I always had the ending and the beginning from the first draft, which gave me a sense of ‘oh, there’s a play here’. But it keeps on changing. Right through rehearsal period, I'm still making cuts. You see actors rehearsing, and you think I could do this better. Once you're actually in the room, you go, ‘oh, they can do that line with a look. You don't need that line’. Or, you realize this moment that looks good on paper is just dragging and not necessary. So get rid of that. But sometimes you make a cut and then have to put it back, because it was actually a main artery of the scene.

How do you write authentic dialogue? 

I do a huge amount of muttering to myself. Constant muttering. Sometimes, my wife would be on a train with me, and she'd say, ‘Caroline, are you writing dialogue?’ Because I’m muttering under my breath. You have to get the sound of the character in your head and their rhythms, which are connected to both their psychology and how they present themselves. Then once you have that rhythm, and you know what you wish them to say, you combine the two. Emotion lies as much in the music of words as it does in what people are saying.

Some playwrights might ping it out perfectly, but for me, a scene is rewritten a million times until it feels like they're naturally speaking.

Why write for the theatre? 

What I love about writing plays is that you can constantly contradict yourself. So, write something that you agree with, and then make sure the next character absolutely destroys it. Rather than summing something up, try to release something into the air to be played with, and that dance I love. The irony is that even though plays are all dialogue, they're also about the unspoken. A play is about everything that's happening between the words and I like the idea that you can have two, three characters in a scene and, and they're all right and all wrong simultaneously.

And there’s the extra added peril writing Mary Whitehouse. You have to make it completely convincing because she was so convincing and so clever and funny. Sometimes my wife would come into my office, and she'd see me looking haunted, she'd be like ‘have you been writing really convincing homophobia again?’ 

What are the stars, Maxine Peake and Samuel Barnett, like to work with?

Incredible. Maxine Peake is one of our greatest living actresses. It's no secret she’s politically very different from Mary Whitehouse. And yet, the humanity and complexity and charisma she's bringing to the role, and even little changes that she's found in the accent. Every day in rehearsal, it was like, ‘whoa, there’s Mary Whitehouse!'

Sam is playing twenty different characters. And he’s so studious. Each character he's thought about in so much detail. Each one feels fully realized, even if they're only on stage for a couple of minutes. And Sarah Frankcom has this forensic attention to detail. Often in a rehearsal room, a writer can feel like they're slowly being skinned alive. But I felt completely safe and happy.

We talked about Mary Whitehouse's achievements. What are yours?

Oh, God, it's tricky, because as a writer, you just propelled forward by a sense of perpetual dissatisfaction. My last poetry book, Ambush at Still Lake, which I wrote when my son was three, felt quite an achievement. And before that, I wrote a poetry book called The Air Year, which I'm still not entirely embarrassed by, which is nice. There's various poems that I still perform, so I must be proud of them.

We know how Mary Whitehouse is remembered. How would you like to be remembered?

Oh God, that's too much! But…I love teaching poetry. I teach poetry all the time, and mentor poets and I’m obsessed with finding new ways to teach poetry. So, if I've helped anyone fall in love with poetry, I'm proud of that.

Anything else more about the play?

It’s wickedly funny, because even though the subject is hugely serious, she very skilfully used humour to disarm and persuade. For example, when she was pelted with custard pies, she turned around and said, ‘well, at least it matches my blouse’. Also, there's something about sexual topics, which is always humorous, especially for the British. Like when she brought sex toys to Ten Downing Street, and asked Margaret Thatcher to ban them. But at the same time, the implications underneath the humour is deeply serious. I love that clash between humour and seriousness.

Do you like her?

A complicated question. She caused so much damage to gay people, and at the same time, she's a very enjoyable character to write, even when she's talking about homosexuality being a mental illness. I’ve realized that it's possible to be impressed by someone's tenacity and feel sorry for them and want to know them more, while wanting to show how much hurt they caused. I liked writing her much more than I expected. But part of what made her so dangerous was that appealing quality. Impressed is a better word. Not admired.

The Last Stand Of Mrs Mary Whitehouse by Caroline Bird performs at the Nottingham Playhouse from Friday 5 September until Saturday 27 September 2025.